Miscellaneous Parrot Topics > Rainbow Bridge

I found Pix dead in his cage

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Julie T:
Below, I have copy/pasted what I wrote in another forum this morning. I don't have the energy to write it again. It's in italics...

I FOUND Pix dead in his cage!!
All I could do was scream NO!!NO!!NO!! Okay, I'm still shaking, I'm still hysterical. I just found him 15 minutes ago. I don't want to call Don at work to give him such upsetting news and disturb his mind thought the day. Pix was the only bird (Budgie) who was BOTH Don's and mine.

Pix (and his buddy Twigs) are approx 2(?) years old. About 8 months ago, Pix developed serious systemic problems (many organ systems) and they think probably thyroid or hormones which controlled his hunger mechanism and metabolism. He became severely obese despite same diet (Harrison's lifetime) that Twigs is on. He's had diagnostics and a diet plan from 2 avian vets. Long story short, I think his organs were so far gone that they could not heal.
It is known that Budgies, due to being very overbred, or inbred with no regard to genetics, commonly develop serious internal problems. There was nothing we could have done to prevent him developing this, despite giving the best of care.

I had dreams about someday when he's better to put him in a nice flight cage with his best friend Twigs.

I feel so awful... I wish I could have said "hi" to him one more time... I wish he could have gotten out to fly with his buddy Twigs one last time... I wish he was able to sit by Twigs and preen with him one last time... I wish he has the opportunity to enjoy one last meal before he passed...

We've all told owners not to feel guilty, but I see how easy it is when you're vulnerable. I was going to spend time with him to fly, and weigh him yesterday but I was busy. Why didn't I go over and say hi to him an extra time or take him out yesterday or this morning just for a minute? God I wish I had. I just wish I had. My heart really hurts.
     
Also, a little sixth sense?? Early this morning Don called and left me a message saying "don't forget to feed Pix, I know you don't forget, but just a little reminder anyway." Pix was on a once a day avian vet managed diet. Don knows I always clean and feed daily. He never calls to remind me... Maybe he had a little 'serendipity' moment there?

Also, just early this morning as I still layed in bed (or maybe it was my last though last night), I told myself that today I am going to get the budgies out and weigh them, and let them fly in one of the rooms. I never have this specific thought. It's just something I would "do", not have 'pre thoughts about'. Weird...  :cry2:


momazon:
I am so sorry, but please do not overthink this.  You provided health care and gave Pix love, that's all you could have done.  I, too, beat myself up over the birds I have lost.  You are a very loving parront, and my thoughts are with you today. 

Dartman:
Sounds like you did everything you could and you said budgies have issues so don't beat yourself up about it and just know he was happy and loved to the end.
When Nerd died just before Xmas of 2009 I wasn't going to tell my sister who lives here either as same thing, didn't want her all upset and crying at work. Unfortunately our Mom called her and ruined the rest of her day just trying to help :(
I felt terrible about Nerd too and the coulda, shoulda, woulda questions still bug me but I know he was very happy and knew he was loved and part of the flock, plus he was with me when he passed so it helps but I still miss him and the bond we had. Hang in there and take the time you need and think of the good times you had :hugs:

Julie T:
Thank you. It hurts even more to know that I had no idea exactly 'when' he passed, and he suffered and passed away alone. Was it late last evening? Was it in the middle of the night? Was it this morning before I went over to see him? He was already cold. I wish I was there for him. Sort of makes me feel guilty even though I shouldn't.

When Don got home I told him. We held Pix and said our last sad goodbye. I gently packed him for the freezer to take him to the vet for cremation. We're getting him back in a little cedar box, which I will keep with the other little cedar box containing my beloved first Bronze Winged Pi 'Adrion'. Then NO MORE little cedar boxes for a very long time!!

E:
I'm so sorry for your loss. :-(

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